Lasting Impressionist

New York City. Swoon!

I just spent four days in the city that never sleeps doing what all thirty-something ladies do in Manhattan. Shop, sip and sightsee.

If you have never been to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), I would highly recommend it, specifically the fourth and fifth floors where you will find all of the most notable artists of the 19^thand 20^th centuries. Perhaps the names Picasso, van Gogh, Kandinsky, Chagall, Matisse, Severini, and Monet ring a bell?

When I arrived on the 5^thfloor, there was one gold-framed piece that was guarded, crowded, and photographed more than any other piece of art, Vincent van Gogh’s Starry Night. But that wasn’t what garnered my attention and sparked my mind. It was back in a corner, in a separate room, where I fell into the vast heaven of Monet.

There was a distinct air about this area of MoMA. You could sense the awe and wonder as people quietly stood or sat on the benches in front of the sprawling canvases, where two of his Water Lilies series filled two entire walls. You could hear the respect, as this was the quietest place in MoMA.

After I swirled out of the lavender and pale pink trance I was in, I wanted to know more. So I read about Mr. Claude Monet. And was stunned. These pieces took twelve years to create…come again?!

Astonished, I still wanted to know more.  So after my trip ended, and I arrived home via turbulence and oh so friendly TSA, I did what any person who wants to learn more about anything does…I Googled it.

For those of you, who are like me, and maybe are not as well versed in notable artists like Monet, here is what you need to know:

• He was 74 when he started his Water Lilies series.

• His eyesight was failing during the twelve-year span that he painted these pieces leading him to be criticized for their blurriness.

• After he passed, the Water Lilies stayed in Giverny for twenty years until they were rediscovered by curators.

Oh Monet, you silly French hen! You epitomized three life lessons that if recognized before you die, can help you live.

Here are three life lessons I learned from Monet:

1. It’s never too late to begin.  At 74 years young, Monet began painting the pieces that now he is most recognized for. I hear people regularly at 34 or 44 or 54 saying “it’s too late”. I scoff at them. If a man of 74 and failing eyesight can begin a new project then why can’t you do anything? Go back to school, change careers, have a baby, or travel more.  It’s only too late to begin if you allow it to be too late or if you are dead. Are you dead?

2. It takes time to create a masterpiece. Twelve years for Monet. What about you? Most quit too soon, because it is hard, or isn’t immediate gratification as society has come to expect. Most won’t continually pursue something that takes months, years, or decades to perfect. Hello diet pills and steroids! The easy road doesn’t create a masterpiece, hard work and time creates masterpieces. What are you working on?

3. It takes time for others to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments. Just because you see the brilliance behind your masterpiece doesn’t mean others will. You may be considered “crazy”, “off”, “nuts”, or “different” like Steve Jobs was. But with hard work, determination, and passion, your masterpiece will shine for others to admire and appreciate, eventually if not immediately. 

I understand now why Monet was considered the founder of French impressionist painting, because his artwork left a lasting impression on my eyes, heart, and working soul.

See my entire gallery of favorite pieces from MoMA by going here: Lasting Impressionist Album

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

I am a Victoria's Secret Model

I am a Victoria’s Secret Model.

I am America’s Next Top Model.                                    

I am the next American Idol.

I am Top Chef.

I am the next best-selling author.

At least in my head I am.

I’m also a realist and I understand I’m a pear-shaped, shaky soprano, take-out queen.

But in my head I’m a lot of things. That’s where all of my dreams, aspirations, and confidence live, in the conscience of my being. What’s swimming in the depths of your core? What are you dreaming of achieving?

As I’ve aged I’ve realized a few things about dreams. They coincide greatly with your confidence. You are either your worst critic or your best cheerleader. All greatness comes from a core belief inside you, not from your mom, dad, brother, sister, dog, friend, boss, or spouse. It comes solely from you. Do tell me, who is lining your subconscious sideline, a critic or a cheerleader?

Growing up I was teased about my big nose (um, duh, I’m Italian). In high school, I didn’t go to prom. I wasn’t even asked. In college, I was self-conscience about my hips, thighs and butt. I felt bad about myself. And when the many would compliment me, contrary to what the few had critiqued me on, I would brush it off. Because it was easier to believe what the critics would say – because that is what I believed.

And then something happened. Little by little, I built upon the small and fleeting moments of self-love. I contribute a lot of this revelation to maturing and determining that I’m not going to live based on what others think of me. The other part came from the encouraging words of others, being successful in my work, and allowing the real Stephanie to stand up.

Here is how you can begin believing you are more than what you think you are:

1. Accept and believe the compliments you receive. When someone decides to say something of a complimentary nature, it is downright rude of you not to accept it. So be polite and say thank you. Most people are trained to challenge or argue compliments. Who taught you that? Didn’t your mother teach you better than that? Don’t discount their compliment because of your own self-doubt. Instead build upon it. When you start with a thank you and focus on what they have told you, you will begin to build up your own self-confidence.

2. Write down self-love affirmations. There are things that you love about yourself. Come on, you’re sexy and you know it! Your job is to capture these and write them down. Just like goals, it’s easier to believe something when it’s written down. You don’t have to share these with anyone, BUT you do need to share them with yourself. Capture the thoughts, dreams, and aspirations that are in the corners of your heart and head. The thoughts you believe others would find you insane, for these are the real gems.

3. Ignore the critics. It’s not easy, but it is necessary to build your self-confidence. It may sting at first, but the easiest response is to treat the critic just like the cheerleader and say “thank you.” However, instead of accepting it, dismiss it. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s necessary. You are not living your life for anyone other than you. Once you realize this truth, you will break free from the chains of criticism.

4. Encourage others. You will in turn encourage yourself. If you want to build up your own self-belief, self-confidence, and self-love, start by building someone else’s. The positive words you speak to others will start to creep into your own subconscious, challenging you to believe more in yourself. Try it out. The worst that can happen is you help someone. Would that be so terrible?

These days I see my nose as a symbol of my heritage. I’m embracing my pear assets. And I believe it when someone tells me I’m beautiful. I believe it, because I, internally with all of who I am, truly believe it. Now where’s the runway?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Less Meetings, More Music

“It was an okay day.”

“What could have made your OK day better?”

“Less meetings and more music.”

Hmmm…there’s an idea. Why not have both? Music Meetings.

I have a playlist on my iTunes titled, YES that I play right before I give a keynote. It puts me in the right state of mind, an Empire State of Mind.

You know that song you play to get amped up. You blast it out your speakers while driving to a big sales call, or during a race, or before taking the field. You are thinking of it right now. It’s full of rhythmic beats, melodies, bridges, choruses, storytelling lyrics and high notes that swallow your soul.

Music has a way of doing that. Scooping you up and whisking you to another place and time. To other memories, full of past places, tastes, and people.

What’s playing in your soul right now?

What lyrics are your heart writing and your mind singing?

Today, I’m a little New York (Snow Patrol) and a little Flake (Jack Johnson). And I’m always a little You and Tequila(Kenny Chesney).

I bet I just got you thinking of a song that reflects how you are feeling right now. And I can list a number of songs that will transport me somewhere else. So can you.

Get Low – Post Georgia vs. Clemson football game in the parking lot with Kristen.

Not Ready to Make Nice – 2am singing session with Nata and Ris

When I Get Where I’m Going – Grandpa’s viewing

Lady in Red – My Mom. Every. Single. Time.

Wonderful Tonight – Sandy Cayman beach with a harpist and a proposal.

Changes – Ready to take stage and take control with my keynote about change.

There is a special connection between music and mind. But what’s behind the music? Behind the melody, the bridge, the chorus and the voice? 

Words.

Lyrics.

Musical mantra’s.

The way these musical mantras affects you is two-part.

Part-circumstance: Where was I? Who was I with? What was I doing when I heard this song?

Part-emotion: How does this make me feel? How do the lyrics speak to me?

It’s pretty powerful – music is language in the ultimate communicative state. More people listen to music than read. Disagree? Gleemuch? American Idol? The Voice? MTV? You don’t see Reading Rainbow on the television anymore these days, a sad truth.

Music has and will always be the great connector of the masses. There may be 50 Shades of Grey to challenge my theory on this.

What’s so attractive about music? It’s the songwriter’s ability to convey a message and an emotion through their words and melody.

                                                                           

What’s your song? What’s your message? What are you trying to convey that will transport people to another time and evoke pure emotion?

The next time you want to be persuasive in a board meeting, or during a performance review, or asking for a raise, or leading the team project, or even asking someone out on a date, I challenge you to write your words like a songwriter to tell your lyrical story. Make it a music meeting.

What's stopping you from presenting a musical mantra at your next meeting?

Write it. And then sing it out loud. Sing it loud. Sing it proud. Dare to go there. Be inspired. Be real. Be the next American Idol. Be You. And don’t be afraid to say what you really want to say. Risk it all.

Here’s my stab at a broken-hearted music mantra:

Was I just something to pass your time, fill your silence, and break your boredom?

Or was I someone who passed through your dreams, filled your mind, and broke your heart too?

Step aside Adele. Step aside.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Isn't She Pamtastic?

"Sissy Belle." That's how my mother addresses me. It is much preferred over the name she used when I was an infant, "Chunky Tuna." Although very appropriate as I was definitely in the higher percentiles in weight as a one to twelve month old.


That loving nickname has stuck with me for thirty years. Sissy Belle, NOT Chunky Tuna! But it's not the only thing that my mother has stuck on me for the last thirty years. So as Mother's Day came and went this weekend, I reminisced on the lessons of life she has imparted to me thus far. 

Here's what my mom has taught me in the last 30 years:
1. Work. It's ok to be a working mother and to want to be a working mom. My mom has worked her entire career except for the first nine months of my life. She has been the epitome of the working mom. In my childhood, her days ran something like: 8-5 in the office, to shuttling my brother around to baseball and wrestling practices and weekends full of games/meets, to helping me with homework, to doing all (Sorry Pops! You ain't got nothing on Mom in this department) of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, emptying the kitty litter, feeding the dogs, and tucking us all in with a kiss each night. I never wanted for more attention or time from my mom, because this was all I knew, it was my normal. She multi-tasked with a smile and showed me that life is about working hard, professionally and personally.
2. Be Selfless. If you go back and read the list that I just wrote out, you'd realize that everything I listed was work she was doing for someone else. My mother taught me that to be fulfilled in life, you have to be selfless. If you give all you have, you'll be repaid in full happiness, plus the profits of joy and love.
3. Fight. Not a lesson you would expect from a mom, but my mother took the time to teach me that you have to fight for what you want in life and love. Professionally, I've watched my mom fight against stereotypes. With only a high-school degree she has climbed to the top of a company where only the boys play. She's got balls. And thankfully, she's taught me to fight on the boy's playground too. Personally, the greatest lesson she taught me is that you know you will have found "the one" when you are willing to fight with them and fight for them.
4. It's never too late. To do whatever you want to do. If you find something that makes you happy and gives you joy and peace, do it. And for my mom, that's baking the most fantastic, correction, Pamtastic cheesecakes. She decided to go for it and while she isn't overloaded with orders quite yet, she taught me that when you love to do something, when you have a pamtastic passion, you have to follow through, or you will never know. And why live a life of "what if's?"
5. Have Faith. My mother has repeatedly told me to have faith: strong, heart full of conviction, faith that will carry you through every triumph and tragedy. I watched my mom go through the long process of losing her mother to Alzheimer's. For seven years, she traveled three hours, every Saturday, to visit her mom (and dad) who didn't even know who she was. She showed up without hesitation or question, long after the recognition had vanished from her mom's eyes. She has unwavering faith. She has taught me that faith and for that, above all else, I am forever grateful.
While I couldn't spend Mother's Day with my mom, I spent the day thinking about all of these life lessons and capturing them for you, but mostly to remind myself how lucky I am to have my very own Pamtastic mom.


Happy Mother's Day Mom!
With love and admiration,
Sissy Belle


Want to see a picture of my mom and "Chunky Tuna?” It's posted here, on my Sales Barista Facebook page.

I'm your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Breaking Up Bubba

I love a man who wears pink.

So, this past Sunday, as I half-watched, half-listened, and half worked, out of the corner of my eye, Bubba Watson, stole a little piece of my heart.

And then when I started to stalk further into this man's story, he stole a little bit more.

He had six, second place PGA finishes and three Major championships.
And then it happened. He won one of the most prestigious sporting awards of all time - the Masters. As I watched him be adorned with the elusive green jacket, I watched his innocent face fill with emotion. And during his interview, he simply stated, "I never got this far in my dreams."

Isn't that ironic?
No. It is life.
Aren't the majority of our most precious accomplishments ones that we never dream of?

We hear it all the time.
And the Oscar goes to so-and-so.
"Oh thank you, I'd never dreamed I would standing here, blah blah blah."

People never dream and yet they accomplish some amazing successes. They break-up to the next level. Why?

I never dreamed I would be working for Jeffrey Gitomer, speaking at a level where people pay to hear what I have to say, and writing in an e-publication that has hundreds of thousands of readers. No, I never dreamed that. But it happened. So I conclude: dreams are useless. You don't need to dream big to break-up to the next level of success.

Here's what you DO need to break-up to the next level:

1. Talent. It's the raw and impressive talent that you have a sense of ownership over. You know what you excel at. The problem is that most people don't know what their limitations are. If you know you are not good at something, stop wasting your time. Instead, focus on where your talent is, the skills that make others take notice of you, and develop them. Bubba Watson has a golf-given skill. He can drive a ball 194 mph. And he has never had a professional golf lesson in his life. That's talent. Raw talent. What's yours?

2. Persistence. People who reach the next level of success, don't quit - they persist. They push, pull, and fight to continue to grow, to learn, to improve, to gauge, and to accomplish. They understand the short-term and the long-term and their place in that picture and they use persistence to break-up to the next level. They have a level of drive that others may classify as "nuts," (hello, Steve Jobs - thank you for ignoring the doubters, otherwise I would not be writing this on my MacBook Pro), and they don't care, they simply persist; beyond anything.

3. Hard work. Nothing happens until someone acts. Hard work is a common word; with which we all have our own definitions. What I see as hard work, you may not. Let me define "hard work" in my terms to you - working harder than anyone else to improve your own skill set to your personal best. Hard work doesn't necessarily mean being the first to work and the last to leave, it just means working smart and diligently to improve and get better, everyday.

4. Passion. It's a part of life. Passion is a major driver in success. If you don't love and feel a connection with what you are trying to break-up to, you'll never succeed. The person with the heart and passion is the person who will figure out a way to make it happen, because of their love. Love will always find a way, right? RIGHT!

Bubba Watson broke-up. He broke-up in a big way and yet he never got that far in his dreams. What are you breaking up to? Where are your talents, persistence, hard work, and passion leading you? I bet it's to nowhere you have ever dreamed of.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Controlling Customers

I am a control freak. A bona fide, high-maintenance, don’t color outside the lines control freak!

I do not adjust well to change. I do not like it when plans change. I do not break the rules. I do not cope well with adjusting expectations. When shift happens, the shift hits my fan.

Chef Mike Horri is also a control freak. He is the “soup Nazi” of Italian food (all of you Seinfeld fans know exactly what I’m talking about. Can’t you hear it now: “No soup for you!”).

And Chef Mike is the newest addition to my list of stars.

I met Chef Mike last week. I was traveling for work (public seminar events for Jeffrey Gitomer in Seattle) and some of our event volunteers recommended we have dinner at Pasta Freska, Mike’s restaurant. So off we went, three men (Andy, Jordan, and Kevin) and a little sales barista to Pasta Freska.

First impression – the pizza slice shaped building was slightly shabby but gave off a you-know-it’s-going-to-be-good, hole-in-the-wall feel to me.

Second impression – Chef Mike, who had fully embraced the role of owner and head chef clad in his white chef’s jacket asked, “how many?”

Third impression – We were sat at our dimly lit yet cozy table for four - the lighting could be better.

Fourth impression – Where are the menus? What?! No menus! This can’t be right. How am I able to control my meal if there are no menus?

What followed was Chef Mike making one simple statement, four times, “Tell me one food that you absolutely can’t stand.”

“ONIONS!” I definitely wasn’t scared to answer that question. And around the table Chef Mike went until he had four answers…onions, anchovies, chunks of tomatoes, ditto. And that was it. Chef Mike walked away and dinner was ordered. Can you believe it?

What ensued next was a 7-course dinner filled with the most perfectly-paired red wine, roasted eggplant, salad, mouth-melting garlic bread, pasta, sweetly stuffed chicken marsala, mussels, salmon, a quartet of desserts, and for me – not one single onion. DELISH!

This was THE best restaurant experience of my life. And it single-handedly can be attributed to the star-quality of Chef Mike.

What made Chef Mike a star? What made him shine brighter than all of the other restaurant experiences?

Three simple reasons: he was an expert, he was exuberant, and he was in control.

How to elevate your own star quality:
1. Be an Expert. Chef Mike is an expert; an expert of pasta, Italian food, wine, restaurants, and overall dining experiences. Not one of us questioned what he was going to serve us. He was confident from his greeting to the slamming of the wine on our table. He established himself as an expert not only by his position of founder and chef (don’t get me wrong, that helps) but also by the way he walked and talked. How much of an expert are you both in position and poise?
2. Be Exuberant. Chef Mike was full of life and love for his job and it RADIATED from him, making it contagious and affecting us, in a good way. He was happy and fully engaged with each customer’s experience. His exuberant personality made up over half of his star quality. When you love what you do, it radiates and affects everyone around you. How effective is your exuberance?
3. Be in Control. Pasta Freska’s website states: “Dinner at Pasta Freska is based on Chef Mike Horri's ‘Have it your way’ philosophy!’” But I disagree. I would instead say: “Dinner at Pasta Freska is based on Chef Mike Horri’s ‘Have it MY way’ philosophy!” Mike controlled everything as soon as we walked into his restaurant. He controlled our greeting, our table, our menu, our wine, our food, and our overall experience. All the while, making sure not to serve us anything that we absolutely hated. He was a control freak. How much of a control freak are you? Are you controlling your customer’s greetings, their orders, and their overall experience?

Chef Mike is a control freak and he is a star. He is the epitome of controlling your business, your environment, and your customers to ensure that they have an amazing experience that will leave them bragging about you to everyone they know.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Super Tuesday

419 delegates.
10 states.
4 candidates.

Who will win?

You may be saying – who cares? To which I would respond: a lot of Republicans do.

But don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some political tirade (because I’m not a donkey) this is about you winning – winning your race.

Don’t think you are in the running? Haven’t proclaimed your candidacy?

Wake up and smell the Starbucks (I gave it up for Lent, so these days I would have to say, wake up and smell the fresh-brewed Keurig K-cup), of course you are in the running! You declared your candidacy the minute you entered the workforce. And there are no age or citizenship qualifications in this race - just you and your reputation are all that qualify you to win or lose the career election.

So…who’s managing your campaign? Who’s running attack ads on you? Who’s voting for you?

Haven’t thought about your career in this way? Maybe you should.

Think about how differently you would act if you knew all of your dirty career secrets were going to be public knowledge? That you were going to have other candidates attacking you and trying to take you down. Haven’t I just described your competition? Aren’t they trying to take you down so they can win, either your job or your customers?

So how do you run a campaign that gets you all the votes?

Here’s how to win your career election:
1. Build a positive reputation. Your reputation precedes you. You have heard this saying millions of times. And before social media it was 100% true, now it’s 500% true. With the revolution of social media, it’s easier than ever for someone to learn everything about you, good and bad, way before you ever meet. Keep this in mind while you are building your image and interacting with colleagues, customers, your family and friends. Every step you take, word you chose, and action you make builds your reputation. Walk positively, speak positively and act positively. This will guide you to a positive reputation. How’s your reputation? Positive? Are you positive about that?

2. Get endorsements. Want to win a race? Find someone to endorse you. Get someone to publicly announce they are supporting you and your efforts and it will work wonders. Especially if it is someone who also has a positive reputation, is trusted and looked to as an influential person. And the best person would be someone you have done business with, not your mom (sorry Mom!). This person can speak to your strengths (and shocker, your weaknesses) but also talk to how you work, how you serve, how you communicate, and how you perform - your end results. Who is willing to endorse you? Do you have more than one?

3. Fight fair. Represent yourself with integrity by fighting fair. If you are going to go up against a competitor, talk about the facts, not your opinions of them. No one gets ahead by trash-talking the competition. It makes you look petty and low. Instead, find a way to elevate yourself by singing your own praises. Highlight your own competitive advantages instead of harping on their disadvantages. Fighting fair allows you to look good two-fold, by showing how you believe you are the best and also how you are a bigger person. It’s easy to attack the other party, it’s a lot more difficult to look in the mirror and talk about what YOU bring to the table. How fair are you fighting?

This Super Tuesday, people are casting their votes on a republican candidate for their party’s presidential nomination. And today, people are casting their votes on you and your competition. Who will win? Will it be you? Or will you be forced to withdraw from the race?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Dance with Somebody

Whitney Houston died.
I sent that text to my mom on Saturday night at 8:45pm.
I sent it to my mom because I remember listening to Whitney Houston cassette tapes with her while I was growing up. I remember how my mom thought Whitney Houston was gorgeous when we watched The Bodyguard.

When I found out about her passing, while sitting at the Charlotte Bobcats game via Facebook (another notch to the power of social media belt), the first person I thought to tell was my mother. So I texted her and over the past two days, I’ve read and listened to accounts of people’s opinions while I sat silently and digested all that had happened.

A singing icon died.
Yes, she was too young.
Yes, it is a tragedy.
Yes, it was most likely preventable.

But I saw it as a lesson in team building.
A lesson in surrounding yourself with people who will push you to be better, to not fail, to not give up, to not perish, but to rise above and be better.

I don’t know if Whitney Houston had a team that surrounded her.
I don’t know what efforts were made to save her, push her, or raise her to being her best.

What I do know is that regardless of what did or did not happen, failure occurred. Because Whitney Houston is no longer striving to be her best, she is no longer dancing with somebody.

Who are you dancing with? Who is pushing you? Who doesn’t give up on you even when you have given up on yourself? Do you have that somebody?

Are you that somebody?

How do you become that somebody?

Here's what you have to do to be a dance partner in someone’s life:
1. Praise. Positive words and reinforcement can catapult a person to their next level of success. Whether you are a co-worker, boss, teacher, coach, parent or friend, communicating kind words of praise will help boost self-confidence, allowing them to try harder. One of the biggest mistakes we make is only communicating when failure or large accomplishments occurs. It’s much harder to consciously praise people in our lives for their small positive actions that are helping them progress to a higher level of excellence. We all know the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” As a dance partner, you want to remember to: Don’t forget to praise the small stuff!
2. Push. This is a major obligation you have when you sign up to be someone’s dance partner. You must be willing to push them to do more and to do better. Sometimes people need to be pushed because they fail to push themselves, or they don’t have enough self-belief to go for it on their own. Pushing requires a delicate balance of knowing when to push and when to back off, however, most of us back off too soon. I’ve heard that if you send just one more marketing email, you’ll get an additional 15% response. Keep that in mind here, if you push and cheerlead someone just one more time, you may get a 15% increase in their success.
3. Protect. Probably the most important of the three elements, above all else, is to protect this person. On whatever level you are engaged with this person, you are required to protect them. This is easiest for parents and spouses, but think about it in business terms. To be a team player, you have to protect each other. To be a trusted boss, you have to protect your employees. To be a respected employee, you have to protect the business. Protection is to keep safe from harm. You have to bodyguard your dance partner and keep them from harm, whether it’s from outside influences or from themselves.

Whitney Houston died. I believe she died because she didn’t have a dance partner. I hope that you will dance with somebody – all the way to the best of their success.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words - A Pin Profits a Thousand Impressions

Pinning madness! I'm consumed by all of the pins placed on the boards around me. Most of you probably have NO idea what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Pinterest. Pinterest is exactly as it sounds, a place to pin your interests, essentially a virtual inspiration board and, as I'm learning, a picture, marketing, impressionist, and profit making board.

I started on Pinterest, an invitation only program, a few months ago and quickly became addicted to the new reality of virtual shopping without spending a dollar. That was until I started finding items that I was pins over needles about - items I just had to have - items that when I clicked through to find out where to buy them for the most part I was in utter disappointment! Why? Because, most of my "must click to buy now" pins were SOLD OUT. Which led me to realize that there was some profit in this whole Pinterest craze. Get your item pinned by one person, it goes out to their network, if someone re-pins it, it then spreads to their network, and so on and so on until you have enough people clicking through to purchase and voila - you've sold out = Pins to Profit.

In August of last year, Time Magazine, published Pinterest in it's "50 Best Websites of 2011" column. As it should with it's estimated 11 million visits per week!

If that isn't reason enough on why you should have interest in Pinterest, try this on for size. Pinterest, in my opinion, is the most influential social media platforms born to date, when it comes to actually making a profit. And I'm assuming you would rather profit than read a tweet, decipher the new Facebook timeline, or link up with your ex co-workers in hope for a recommendation.

Pinterest gives you the ability to get your products in front of a large mass for free. Here's a perfect example, I'd been on the hunt for a new rug to go under our new dining room table for quite a while when I started on Pinterest. Through some of the people I follow, they pinned a large amount of home decor ideas. One friend, Meghan, posted a rug that I liked, so I clicked on it and it clicked through to the site she pinned it from, RugsUSA.com. On their site I found a similar rug that was perfect for my dining room and I bought it. Pin to Profit. Got it?

Now don't sit there and mumble; "I don't have a tangible product, I don't sell rugs Stephanie." It doesn't matter what you are selling, if you are a photographer to an event planner, to a bridal boutique, to a cupcake shop, you can make money by making your pictures pin-able!

How to be more visible, and pin-able, for profit:
1. Picture. The biggest part of Pinterest is the picture images that are pinned by the users. In order for you to get your product, company, and interests pinned you need to have pictures available on the web that can be pinned. The more pictures you have the more likely you are to be pinned by someone. Example: One local bakeshop has great pictures of their cupcakes on their website. I can pin one of these pictures and through my network their cupcakes and company will spread and people may go to their shop and buy their cupcakes or hire them for a special event.

2. Pin. The easiest way to get something pinned is for you to pin it yourself. Pinterest is somewhat internal, i.e. most pins have been re-pinned. So to get your picture into the Pinterest mix, it's best for you to pin it first and allow others to re-pin it for you so it will spread throughout the network. Example: My wedding photographer started posting pictures he has taken on Pinterest. I re-pinned him onto my Wedding Board, other's have commented or repined the picture creating brand awareness for him.

3. Impress. You initial goal, should you choose to accept it, is to begin Pinterest with the interest of making impressions. Get the picture (word) out there through the pins you post. Allow others to re-pin them and spread the word for you. Eventually business and profit will follow.

Ready to begin your own pins to profit campaign? Send me a message with your name and email by going to my Sales Barista Facebook page and I'll send you a personal invitation to join Pinterest!

I'm your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.